


Iron Man and Spider-Man Play Never Have I Ever | BuzzFeed Celeb

by Jenniboo311



Series: Social Butterfly Spidey [6]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aged-Up Peter Parker, Buzzfeed, Humor, Internet, Interviews, Irondad, Never Have I Ever, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Secret Identity, Sexual Humor, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 11:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenniboo311/pseuds/Jenniboo311
Summary: "Hey I'm Spider-Man," the figure garbed in a red and blue costume says while snapping off a jaunty two fingered salute. "And this is," he trails off before looking pointedly to his left and gesturing grandly with his arms, which the camera follows, to reveal another figure sitting next to him. The figure meets his gaze and crosses his arms with a cocky smirk before addressing the camera."You know who I am."Spider-Man huffs a frustrated breath through his nose and his arms drop into his lap, disappointed.Spider-Man turns to the camera and shrugs, "This is Tony Stank, and we're playing 'Never Have I Ever'."Tony snorts and deadpans, "Wow, that just gets funnier every time you make that joke. You're a riot."Without looking, Spider-Man raises a gloved hand and attempts to cover Tony's mouth and Tony bats him away, starting a small scuffle that is interrupted by the title card displaying, 'Iron Man and Spider-Man Play Never Have I Ever'.





	Iron Man and Spider-Man Play Never Have I Ever | BuzzFeed Celeb

**Author's Note:**

> While Peter's age is never specified, I consider him aged up to probably his early twenties, and is a mix of MCU-Spidey and PS4-Spidey. Endgame and Far From Home didn't happen, and Civil War magically ended with everyone as friends again.
> 
> Trigger warning: there is a brief mention of someone almost getting sexually assaulted. If this triggers you, maybe skip this one.

"Hey I'm Spider-Man," the figure garbed in a red and blue costume says while snapping off a jaunty two fingered salute. "And this is," he trails off before looking pointedly to his left and gesturing grandly with his arms, which the camera follows, to reveal another figure sitting next to him. The figure meets his gaze and crosses his arms with a cocky smirk before addressing the camera.

"You know who I am."

Spider-Man huffs a frustrated breath through his nose and his arms drop into his lap, disappointed.

Spider-Man turns to the camera and shrugs, "This is Tony Stank, and we're playing 'Never Have I Ever'."

Tony snorts and deadpans, "Wow, that just gets funnier every time you make that joke. You're a riot."

Without looking, Spider-Man raises a gloved hand and attempts to cover Tony's mouth and Tony bats him away, starting a small scuffle that is interrupted by the title card displaying, 'Iron Man and Spider-Man Play Never Have I Ever'.

The camera cuts back to the two heroes sitting calmly, now holding Popsicle sticks with yellow cardboard circles on the end. One side reads, 'I Have', while the other side reads, 'I Have Not'.

Wearing aviators, a Rolling Stones graphic t-shirt and a classy blazer overtop, Tony twirls the stick in his hand and says to someone off screen, "You're putting my name first in the video title, though, right? 'Iron Man and Spider-Man'? Not 'Spider-Man and Iron Man', because I'm clearly cooler and I should have my name go first."

He turns to look at Spider-Man to gauge how successful his dig went over and Spider-Man responds with an exasperated head shake.

"What, you don't agree that I'm cooler? Pfft, and he calls himself Iron Man's number one fan." He looks at the camera and jerks a thumb in Spider-Man's direction, "Fake fan."

"Okay, Tony," he interrupts the man before he can continue wasting time, "Your name should go first."

Tony smirks at the win and gives the camera a smug stare.

"Age before beauty," Spider-Man jeers after a deceptive pause, to which Tony gasps dramatically and shoots him a betrayed look.

'_Never have I ever cleaned up by putting everything into a closet_,' the text displays on screen, interrupting the two from bantering further.

Spider-Man immediately flips his sign to, 'I Have', and throws his head back to laugh at himself.

Tony gives the camera a puzzled look before flipping his sign to, 'I Have Not'.

"Wait, really?" Spider-Man asks once he catches sight of Tony's sign, "You've never thrown your laundry or something in the closet in a panic?"

Tony raises a condescending eyebrow and straightens his designer blazer, "Of course not. I don't clean, I have people for that."

Spider-Man huffs a laugh and tells the camera, "Must be nice."

"It is. It's very nice," Tony answers, even though it was rhetorical.

'_Never have I ever done a handstand with one hand_,' the next statement reads.

"Uhhh, yeah, no," Tony says while flipping his sign to display, 'I Have Not'. "We can't all be spider monkeys." He pointedly looks at Spider-Man, who flips his card confidently to, 'I Have'. "Proof or it didn't happen!"

Spider-Man huffs a laugh and tosses his sign at Tony, who fumbles to catch it, and hops out of his chair. The camera hastily draws back to get a better frame as Spider-Man easily folds his body to place both hands on the floor and promptly sweeps his legs upright in a handstand. Tony fakes an exaggerated yawn until Spidey snickers and shifts his weight to his right arm, pinning his left to his lower back. At Tony's bored noise he throws in a couple one handed push-ups and cartwheels back to a standing position and retakes his seat. He looks at Tony who tries hard to remain looking bored but his twitching lips and sparkling eyes reveal that he's pleased. Tony tosses back his sign and sniffs, unimpressed.

Spider-Man smirks with a crinkling of fabric around his mouth, "Gee, tough crowd."

"Whatever, spider monkey. You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips."

Spider-Man snorts incredulously, "Isn't that from that really old movie we watched awhile ago? Austin Powers or something?"

"Really old-" Tony makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat, "You're killing me here, kid. Next, please!"

'_Never have I ever been awake for two days straight_,' the next one reads.

Spider-Man laughs while Tony smirks and they both flip their cards to, 'I Have'.

"I am guilty of that all the time," Tony confesses with a small grin. "Brilliance doesn't sleep, you know."

Spider-Man tries to hold in his laugh and only partially succeeds. "I rarely get a full night's sleep, Spidey unfortunately has to operate during prime crime time-heh that rhymed-and that's late at night. In general I try to get at least a few hours of sleep in, and I usually only pull all nighters when I get distracted in the lab with Tony."

"So what you're saying here is that I'm a bad influence," Tony immediately pipes up, pretending to look offended.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. You're the worst role model," Spider-Man teases.

Tony snorts and breaks from the teasing to tell the camera, "Seriously, I'm the worst role model. Don't emulate me."

Spider-Man makes a noise of protest and gives him a light smack to the arm with the back of his hand.

"That's not true and you know it," he murmurs quietly to him, to which Tony replies with a small grateful smile and a crinkling of the crow's feet near his temples.

'_Never have I ever had to run to save my life_,' the next statement reads.

Both heroes sober and flip their cards to, 'I Have'.

Tony shifts in his chair uncomfortably and looks as though he is beginning to lose himself in memory before Spider-Man knocks his knee with one of his own and quotes, "He that fights and runs away, may turn and fight another day; But he that is in battle slain, will never rise to fight again."

Tony meets his eyes and a grateful smirk twitches at his lips as he asks, "That Dr. Seuss?"

Spider-Man's eye lenses squint with amusement as he corrects, "Tacitus."

'_Never have I ever kissed a celebrity_,' the video cuts to display on screen.

Tony immediately flips his card to, 'I Have', and gives the camera a devilish smirk.

"Frankly, which celebrity haven't you kissed yet?" Spider-Man asks him with a shake of his head.

"Eva Mendes," Tony promptly replies to the rhetorical question.

Spider-Man laughs lightly at his answer and asks, "And how does Pepper feel about your crush on Eva Mendes?"

"Pepper says I'm welcome to try, but not if she gets there first."

Spider-Man laughs loudly, slapping his chest, not having expected that answer.

"Well, does it have to be either or? Why can't you, you know, share?"

Tony stares at Spider-Man as if he has only just realized he doesn't know him at all.

"Is wholesome and pure Spider-Man seriously proposing I have a threesome with my fiancée and Eva Mendes? What is this world even coming to?"

Spider-Man breaks into giggles as he crumples forward into his own lap in mirth.

Tony shakes his head to snap himself out of his disbelief, "That wouldn't work, for two reasons. Reason one, because once Ms. Mendes gets into the same room with both of us, she'll realize Pepper is the far sexier of the two of us and won't be bothered with me. Secondly, because Pepper is greedy and loves winning competitions and that will be that. I'll be in the corner giving myself a sad handjob."

Spider-Man howls with laughter and sits up as he stammers out a choked, "Tony! Oh my God..."

Tony grins at Spider-Man's mirth and shakes in silent laughter.

"What about you, Webhead? Smooch any celebs lately?"

"Yes, actually," Spider-Man confesses once he gets hold of himself and flips his sign to, 'I Have'.

Tony's jaw drops in shock, which slowly morphs into a devilish grin.

"Well don't leave us hanging here, Underoos, spill the hot goss!"

"Gross, Tony, nobody says, 'hot goss' anymore, how old are you anyway?" Spider-Man dawdles.

Tony cuffs Spider-Man on the back of the head, "Stop stalling! I know your delay tactics by now."

Spider-Man sighs with a dramatic heave of his shoulders.

"Okay, so when you were in Japan on SI business a few months ago," Spider-Man begins, "I was running a capture the flag combat game with Cap, Nat, Clint, Wanda, Vis, Buck, and Rhodey." Spider-Man shifts to get more comfortable and Tony begins to smirk, looking forward to the punchline. "So I was on point that day and I was the strongest player on my team and I guess Nat is a sore loser because next thing I know the Black Widow is climbing me like a fuc-freaking tree and planting one on me."

Tony erupts in laughter, "What did you do?"

Spider-Man shakes his head and gives a light shrug, "I don't really remember, I'm still not convinced it wasn't all a fever dream. Next thing I know the whistle blew and Nat was suddenly gone and Cap paraded past with the flag and a shit-eating grin."

Tony erupts in another round of laughter and pats Spider-Man on the shoulder in sympathy.

'_Never have I ever had someone slap me across the face_,' reads the next one.

Both heroes silently laugh and flip their cards to, 'I Have'.

"It hasn't happened a lot," Tony shrugs, "But there have been a few disgruntled ladies who gave me a wallop."

"Yes, well, that happens when you forget their names," Spider-Man quips and Tony smirks and shrugs again, unapologetic.

"What about you, oh saintly webbed one?" Tony turns the tables on Spider-Man.

Spider-Man laughs awkwardly, "I've been slapped more than you probably think I have been. But only a couple times by a romantic interest. Once, because I bailed and couldn't explain because they didn't know I was Spidey, and the other because things got a little messy one day during a conflict and I almost didn't make it out in one piece and she got really upset when I next saw her, because she did know I was Spidey, and slapped me because I scared her."

Tony makes a moue of commiseration and asks, "And what about the other times you've been slapped? It sounded like there was more to this story."

Spider-Man laughs, "That's mostly Bucky. Sometimes he slips in a slap when my guard is down. I think it makes him feel better about showing him up in Germany."

"Oh, that's what that is? I thought I saw him do that a couple times."

"Yeah, it's not a backhand or anything super aggressive like that, it just a firm, noisy, open handed smack to the cheek. It only stays red for like, a minute. I'm used to worse honestly, it's more of an insult than an attack."

Tony raises his eyebrows and looks mildly concerned.

Spider-Man huffs, sounding a bit frustrated. "Okay that sounds a lot worse than it is. Honestly, he's just fooling around, a bit of rough housing. I just laugh at it. And Cap slapped me once when I was about to pass out," Spider-Man tacks on, trying to change the subject from Bucky.

Tony frowns at him darkly, the creases between his eyebrows deepen, "I don't like the idea of Bucky bullying you. I'll set him straight."

"Bullying-" Spider-Man splutters, "Tony, calm down! It's just for a laugh. He's not hurting me. Stop being such a dad!"

Tony looks affronted, "I am not-"

"You are," Spider-Man talks over him, "You're such an IronDad! Calm down, it's fine. I promise."

"But-"

"No, it's fine! You're overreacting. He also makes me pancakes every weekend I stay over at the compound and he went off his head that time last month The Bugle ran an article on me, calling me a menace. He's like an older brother, you know? He shows his affection while beating me."

Tony's face turns stormy at the last statement and Spider-Man continues, in a quiet voice, before he can start ranting, "It's kinda nice, you know, having a brother."

Tony sighs, looking resigned, "Whatever, kid, but if it gets out of hand I'm kicking his ass."

Spider-Man looks at the camera as if he has just remembered where they are and huffs an annoyed laugh, "He says, as if I'm not like, ten times stronger then him and can take care of myself."

Tony looks at the camera, too, and says sardonically in retaliation, "Says the guy that acted weak and let himself get bullied throughout his entire high school career so that nobody else would get targeted instead."

Spider-Man lets his head fall back and stares at the ceiling in frustration as a strangled noise rumbles around in his throat.

"You're self sacrificing to a fault," Tony finishes, crossing his arms and looking stubborn.

"Okay," the web-slinger exclaims, sitting upright, "Moving on!"

'_Never have I ever Googled myself to see what came up_,' reads the text onscreen.

Both men flip their cards to, 'I Have'.

"As a rule, I generally don't," Tony says. "During some of my more scandalous moments I've had to do it to get a heads up on the damage control needed. PR teams everywhere hate me." Tony laughs loudly and runs a tired hand down his face. "It's been a wild ride, what can I say?" He looks at Spider-Man to prompt him for his answer.

Spider-Man shrugs, "Yeah, I used to do it early on when I first started. The attention I was getting was exciting at first, since I had always been someone who was invisible, you know?"

He looks at Tony who grins ruefully and shakes his head in the negative.

"No, of course you don't know, look who I'm talking to." He huffs a laugh. "It was cool to see so many people talking about me and the people I had helped and it felt great. But as I'm sure you all know, the internet can also be a really toxic place, and I started seeing a lot of haters and people who said awful things just for the sake of it. I found myself dwelling on it and doubting whether I should continue being Spider-Man."

Tony makes a disappointed noise and asks, "So what changed? You obviously decided to stick it out."

"I did," he agrees quietly. "I think it was an accumulation of things, but one moment stands out to me in particular. I was having a rough time in my personal life, I was stressed, and I was getting a lot of really bad press at the time, a lot of trolls on the internet, and I felt the lowest I ever had. I was honestly so close to just stopping. I felt worthless and the hate was just piling onto my shoulders and I was thinking, 'what's the point?', you know? The whole point was to help people and if nobody wanted me around then it would be almost impossible to help people." He shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "But then one night I saved this college girl who was about to be raped. Restrained the guy, called the police on him, and got her to the hospital. She was so thankful for me, you know? Kept saying how if I hadn't been there, her life would have changed forever. It made me realize I don't need everyone to like me, I just have to do my job. And if that helps even one person, then it was all worth it. So I stopped Googling myself and looking at newspapers. I'm a little more hardened to it now, years later. The most I'll allow is a bit of social media, but I don't read all the tweets and comments. I just skim and choose a few to interact with. I ignore the poisonous stuff. I still avoid Google in general for the most part."

Tony sighs heavily and looks down at his hands in his lap, rubbing his knuckles absently, "You're too young to have to shoulder all that, kid."

Spider-Man huffs a tired laugh, "I don't think there's really an acceptable age for any of this. It's a tough job, no matter what age you are."

Tony gives him a self deprecating grin and nods.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Spider-Man snorts and says with a hand rubbing the back of his head, "God, this is getting heavy all of a sudden. Us superheroes are a depressing bunch, aren't we?"

Tony laughs in surprise and clasps him fondly on the shoulder.

"Can we like, get a funny one or something?" Spider-Man pipes up, "I think I completely murdered the mood..."

'_Never have I ever heard my neighbors having sex_,' the next statement reads.

Spider-Man promptly chokes on the sip of water he has rolled up the bottom of his mask to take while Tony laughs at his reaction, slapping his knee in mirth. He wipes at the water trickling down his chin with the back of his gloved hand and coughs to clear his lungs before flipping his mask back down.

"Be careful what you ask for," the masked vigilante croaks.

Tony smirks at him while flipping his card to, 'I Have Not'. "You okay there, Underoos?"

Spider-Man clears his throat, "Fine! Just wasn't expecting to go from tragic back story to sex so fast."

Tony huffs a laugh out his nose as Spider-Man catches a glance at his sign.

"Seriously? You've never heard your neighbors going at it?"

Tony quirks a cocky eyebrow at him, "Do I look like someone who settles for less than a penthouse? What neighbors do you think I have?"

The web-slinger tips his head in acknowledgment while flipping his sign to display, 'I Have'.

Tony smirks, "Yeah? Learn any helpful tips, Underoos?"

Spider-Man shakes in quiet laughter, "Okay, so, I live in an apartment building and I have enhanced hearing. Those two things do not mix. Like, I don't know what's going on with the couple two doors down but I'm pretty sure at some point I heard mooing."

Tony interrupts by breaking into loud, surprised laughter and stamps his feet in mirth. Spider-Man covers his mouth with his hand to hold in his laughter and shakes with the effort.

"And the guy downstairs," he chokes out after a moment trying to compose himself, "Mad props to him because he's got the stamina of a frickin' antelope. I feel tired just listening to him. I feel kinda bad for his woman, though, does she ever get any sleep?"

Tony crumples forward in renewed laughter, elbows on his knees and head in his hands, wheezing. After a moment he gets hold of himself and dabs at his nose and eyes with a handkerchief he pulls from his pants pocket.

"You're ruining my aloof image," he grumbles at the masked man.

Spider-Man's eye lenses squint as he grins.

"What about the compound, when you sleep over some weekends? Are the walls thick enough?" Tony asks cautiously.

Spider-Man stares at Tony for a moment before reluctantly replying, "Let's just say I now know more about you than I ever wanted to."

"Oh no," Tony exclaims while shielding his eyes with a hand and laughing, "I'm sorry, kid! I'll invest in better soundproofing for your freaky ears!"

"Appreciated."

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Tony asks incredulously.

"How do you suggest I should have started that conversation?" Spider-Man deadpans, "'Hey Tony, pass me that soldering iron. By the way, smashing performance last night, I could tell you really let her have it.'"

Tony ponders for a moment with an amused smirk before replying, "Point."

Spider-Man snorts.

'_Never have I ever flirted my way out of a speeding ticket_,' reads the text.

Spider-Man promptly flips his card to read, 'I Have Not', and says, "I don't drive. I mean, I can drive, but since I can fling myself across town in twice the speed without the traffic or road rage I don't see much point. Plus, I'm not sure I'd have enough game to be able to flirt my way out of a ticket." He looks pointedly at Tony who flips his card to, 'I Have'.

"Yeah, no surprises there," Spider-Man quips.

Tony smirks devilishly at the camera and waggles his eyebrows.

"What is even the point of that? You're a literal billionaire, I think you can afford a ticket."

"It's more a matter of because I can," Tony says arrogantly.

Spider-Man's eye lenses flare in what is presumably an eye roll and he shakes his head in exasperation.

'_Never have I ever been in handcuffs_,' the texts prompts on screen.

Tony smirks, completely unashamed, and flips his card to, 'I Have'.

"The nineties are a bit of a blur for me, it was a wild ride start to finish. In fact I haven't been arrested in years, I'm probably due for that soon."

Spider-Man snorts and flips his card to, 'I Have', as well, which prompts Tony's eyebrows to crawl up his forehead.

"Uh, hang on," he sticks a finger in the air obnoxiously, "I did a background check on you before we first met and I have a running monitor on anything to do with you, both civilian identity and Spider-Man. There's no way that wouldn't be flagged and brought to my attention. When the hell exactly did you get arrested?" Tony asks, alarmed.

Spider-Man meets his eyes and slyly answers, "I never said I was arrested."

Tony blinks at him as the gears in his head grind to a halt and his mouth drops open before he erupts once more in laughter, clutching his gut.

"I can't believe my first thought was arrested and not a sex thing, wow that's embarrassing. And I call myself Tony Stark. Holy shit, Underoos, I'm impressed. I'm learning so much about you today. I continually underestimate you. That's your real superpower, I think."

Spider-Man snickers.

'_Never have I ever crop dusted an elevator_,' the text on screen says.

Spider-Man immediately laughs and simultaneously groans in disgust while flipping his card to, 'I Have Not'. Tony confusedly looks at Spider-Man while spinning his card in indecision.

"What the hell is that?" Tony asks him.

The vigilante sighs, "Crop dusting is when you pass gas while walking."

"Oh, well that's easy," he says while flipping his card to, 'I Have Not', "Tony Stark doesn't pass gas."

Spider-Man snorts in disbelief, "No?"

Tony nods sagely, "Nor does he urinate or defecate. He is a perfect being."

Spider-Man laughs and covers his eyes with his hand, "Oh my God, why do I hang out with you?"

Tony bites his lip to hold in his laugh.

"I'll tell you who is bad for that, though," Spider-Man tells the camera with such a vindictive tone that suggests he has suffered unimaginable horrors.

"Clint," they both announce at the same time.

"And Scott," Spider-Man adds. "God help us all when they get together and hang out."

"It's revolting," Tony agrees.

"I thought we were going to have to fumigate the living room last weekend," Spider-Man laments before addressing the camera, "I have an extremely sensitive nose, okay? I don't appreciate odors of any kind. And they wait until they walk past me! They're assholes, is what they are."

Tony reluctantly laughs.

"It's not funny!"

'_Never have I ever been serenaded_,' the text reads on screen.

Tony thinks about it for a moment before he flips his card to, 'Have Not', while Spider-Man flips his to, 'Have'.

They glance at each other's answers and Spider-Man slams his card down on his lap in shock and gapes at Tony.

"You've never been serenaded? Like, ever?"

"Well I've been to music events and watched people sing but nobody has ever specifically sung to me, no. Why do you sound so surprised?" Tony asks, an amused grin on his lips.

"Because!" Spider-Man gestures vaguely with his arms, "You're Tony Stark!"

Tony presses his lips together to contain his mirth before deadpanning, "You're right, I am Tony Stark. Well spotted."

Spider-Man huffs and levels him with an unamused look before shaking his head and flipping the bottom of his mask up to his nose, exposing his mouth. He clears his throat expectantly and Tony furrows his eyebrows in confusion while eyeing the exposed half of Spider-Man's face.

"Underoos-" Tony begins to question before he is interrupted and falls silent in shock.

"_I feel so unsure/As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor_," Spider-Man croons in a soothing tenor. He holds out a hand to Tony, who takes his hand looking simultaneously baffled and impressed, and Spider-Man places his other hand on top of it and continues to earnestly sing, "_As the music dies, something in your eyes/Calls to mind the silver screen/And all its sad goodbyes._"

Tony's mouth drops open in astonishment as Spider-Man picks up the chorus passionately, hamming it up.

"_I'm never gonna dance again/Guilty feet have got no rhythm/Though it's easy to pretend/I know you're not a fool._"

Spider-Man pauses for a quick breath and flashes the shocked man a quick toothy grin.

"_Should've known better than to cheat a friend/And waste the chance that I'd been given/So I'm never gonna dance again/The way I danced with you,_" he trails off and bites his lower lip to try to hold in his amused grin as Tony splutters. He flips his mask back down before speaking again.

"Now you've been serenaded. You're welcome," Spider-Man says, amused, as he drops Tony's hand and casually sits back in his chair as if nothing happened.

"Woah, woah, woah," Tony says, putting his hands up in a halting gesture before pointing at him accusingly. "First of all, since when the hell could you sing like that? Secondly, did you seriously just serenade me with Careless Whisper? I think I rate at least a Whitney Houston or a Barry White." Tony looks at him incredulously.

Spider-Man laughs, "What's wrong with George Michael? That song is a classic, you ungrateful heathen."

"And what was up with the-" Tony mimes flipping up the bottom of the mask.

"The voice modulator in the mask makes my singing voice sound weird," Spider-Man explains.

Tony prompts him with an eyebrow and Spider-Man indulges him with a quick, "_Has he lost his mind?/Can he see or is he blind?/Can he walk at all/Or if he moves will he fall?_" The lyrics were well sung, but sounded strange with the voice modulator.

Tony laughs delightedly and says, "Points for singing Iron Man, Black Sabbath is a little more my speed."

Spider-Man grins through his mask at Tony, "That's actually your ring tone in my phone! And I found out the hard way about singing in the mask when I was singing to myself one evening on patrol and got a lot of strange looks. I was belting out Bohemian Rhapsody while taking down a warehouse full of drug dealers and I thought it was strange that the couple guys left conscious at the end were begging me to stop. I've been told I have a nice enough voice so I was really confused. I figured they just had something against Queen."

They both break out into laughter and Tony claps Spider-Man on the shoulder in an affectionate pat.

"Thanks, Underoos, that was nice," he murmurs to him in a low voice to which Spider-Man responds with a quick nod. Tony continues, "You know, Clint can play the drums. You should start a band."

Spider-Man laughs, "What, we'll be called 'Spidey and the A-Team'?"

Tony gives him a half shrug, "Hey, I'd dig it."

Spider-Man gives Tony's shoulder a playful shove and laughs, "Be careful what you wish for!"

'_Never have I ever given or received a lap dance_,' the next one reads.

Tony smirks at the camera and quickly flips his sign to show, 'I Have'.

Spider-Man snorts and says, "No surprises there," before flipping his sign to say, 'I Have Not'.

Tony gasps dramatically and mocks Spider-Man with his own words, "You've never had a lap dance? Like, ever?"

Spider-Man huffs a laugh and shakes his head with a careless shrug, "Nope, I have not."

"But you're Spider-Man!"

Spider-Man groans at having his words thrown back at him.

Tony jokingly goes to stand up to return the favor and Spider-Man laughingly pushes him back down saying, "Don't even think about it!"

"Okay, well that's it for this video," Spider-Man says while Tony takes a sip from a bottle of water. "I hope you enjoyed watching us make fools of ourselves."

"Speak for yourself," Tony chimes in, screwing the cap back on his expensive-looking water, "Tony Stark never looks like a fool."

"Uh huh," Spider-Man deadpans.

______________

Comments:

**Wisdomsqueen**

Anybody else want to legit see what a lap dance from Tony Stark is like?

**spideynamu**

IRONDAD

**I_should_sleep**

Wow Spidey let himself get bullied to take pressure off other kids? Can he get anymore wholesome?

**Bbblaney77**

Tony Stark doesn't poop, news at eleven

**I_should_sleep**

Omg Spidey singing... That was his real voice! He's so good!

**SweetVih**

Please sing to me spidey!

**Grimmly**

Spidey making Tony lose his mind laughing is content I didn't know I was missing out on

**Rocnarok**

Can we please get a spidey and the a-team video?

**18Name27**

You know the suffering must be real when they both pegged Clint as the gassy one without hesitation

**10_lanterns_and_a_dreamcatcher**

"age before beauty" hahaha savage af

**TheGhostKing44**

Spidey going toe to toe with stark and keeping up, I'm loving it

**no_touching**

Omg mooing wtfffff

**Cargumentluv**

Spiderman opening up about bad press and almost giving up got me over here sobbing on my keyboard. You're doing great bb keep it up

**Snappyturtle6921**

Spidey making that quote from Tacitus when Tony got all down on himself and then Tony supporting Spidey when he opened up about his struggle to keep going. Can I just say I love how these two have each other's backs?

**izzybee89**

I think Spidey underestimates his appeal. He says he doesn't have enough game to get out of a ticket but I think all he'd have to do is show me dat ass and I'd say "traffic violation? I don't know her"

**TotallyNotDeadpool**

I'll give you a lap dance, baby boy. Make it real special for you.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have read my other fics in this series you may notice I used the names of commenters as random users. If I have used your name and this bothers you, please let me know and I will happily change it.
> 
> If you liked my story, please drop me a line and let me know you enjoyed yourself!


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